OMGWB says Merry Christmas with this Suckfest

you must watch the whole thing. you think its as sucky as it can be and then POW! it gets EVEN SUCKIER.

you are welcome.

(videogum)

life is hard enough as it is, you don't want to cry anymore.

this is just so perfect, its like the internet gave you an early Christmas gift or something.

yeah, identifying them in a line up ... i know what you mean.

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis by Between Two Ferns

ok, so I guess I'm in the 'holiday spirit' if, by 'holiday spirit, you mean transforming the blog into a serial tribute to cute hilarious guys (this means Zach). my blog is now Tiger Beat meets the Chuckle Hut.

andy samberg is the only reason to watch SNL

this saved my afternoon

a beautiful way to begin the day

Fifty People, One Question: New Orleans from Benjamin Reece on Vimeo.

Fifty People, One Question: New York from Crush & Lovely on Vimeo.

don't bother watching the news, people. i can predict the future!

No need to watch the morning news, or any news between now and January 20th. I've been struggling to keep my special powers under wraps, but today I'm finally giving in to the temptation to reveal my amazing future-predicting abilities.

EVERY newscast between now and January 20th will go as follows:

"You would have never predicted that ____________(insert problem of the day here) would come to be a problem, but it's just another thing that President Obama will have to deal with."

NPR doesn't seem to go quite this way. My powers don't work on them. However, I'm about 4 for 4 with the today show and the spanish news.

hilarious, so of course it wasn't broadcast

(wonkette)

Happy Thanksgiving Week!

UPDATE: this may also be helpful.

11/18/78: Jonestown, 30 years later

Today is the 30th anniversary of the Massacre/Suicide at Jonestown. As a kid hooked on the evening news (I tracked Spacelab obsessively and am still a coulrophobe because of Gacy) I became transfixed by the horror of those famous overhead shots of the compound:

I didn't completely believe the tiny specks of color were people. Later, because of news radio and my parents' "full disclosure" policy, I heard how parents killed their children, how those those terrified or courageous enough to run were gunned down. I was both fascinated and horrified, a combination I still feel when thinking about Jonestown.

Of course, The Peoples Temple, the formal name of Jim Jones' religious group, didn't start out as a nutty suicide cult. Most of the people who joined the Peoples Temple were attracted to Jones' religo-political message of peace and equality. Eventually as his ego expanded with congregation, Jim Jones completely infantilized his followers, stripping them of all agency, addressing them as "my children." The most striking record of that day is the recording (transcript here) of Jones ordering his members to "lay down." In his drugged-out monotone he sounds like tired father putting kids to bed. Those little dots of color were, by and large, incredibly idealistic people caught up in a whirlwind of charisma and religious fervor.

It is easy to treat Jonestown as nothing more than one of history's little freak shows, until you read this Sunday's Post article about Virginia's Calvary Temple, or listen to a piece of one of Calvary Pastor Scott's Sermons:

Jonestown is a completely human story, about how in our modern world, people can feel so alienated that they will take unthinkable measures in order to feel a sense of being wanted or belonging. Stanley Nelson's Jonestown: The Life and Death of Peoples Temple does a superior job of telling that version of this horrific story. If you are, like me, sickly entranced by this sad anniversary, I can recommend no better:

Ayers on the Record

Bill Ayers on Good Morning America today discussing how much fun it will be to terrorist around with the POTUS.

Is the Culture of Mean Over?

It's worth asking with the defeat of McCain's uber-negative campaign and then this. Is anyone shocked that one of the poor nutjobs that American Idol makes the first chunk of their season mocking actually offed themselves? Treating talentless people mentally unbalanced enough to think their qualified for pop stardom as our gawk-worthy sideshow just because they plopped themselves in front of a camera is pretty gross. I am not above it, I long thought that the only decent portion of the program was the initial parade of freaks, I just think its worth stepping back a bit and thinking about what it says about us. Really. Follow the link and watch the video. It's shameless.
(Ted's Take)

Stella and Bob on Caps TV!

Here we are, on the ice for the Hockey Fights Cancer ceremony on 10/18 in honor of our late/great mom, Janet, a die hard Caps fan. It was a great experience, not just because I got to touch Shaone Morrison- We met a really cool group of fans, one of whom is battling IBC, the same kind of cancer mom had- if you aren't familiar with Inflammatory Breast Cancer, please take a moment to check out this list of symptoms. Unlike most breast cancers, IBC is not detectable as a lump and can often be diagnosed as a rash by misinformed doctors.

Anyway, check us out on the teevee!!

Cindy McCain = Cheaty McCheater?

According to the Enquirer, Cindy McCain was sucking face with some pony tailed bro at a Moody Blues concert. You can read all the details here.

and now for something completely different

I have found a project for all my new free time.

I am actually.

Proud to be an American, that is. Last night was a good night. There is a lot of blue on this map where red used to be. The challenge is to make sure it is even bluer in 2012.

The hard work begins today, those of us that supported Obama must continue to dedicate time and energy to our politics. The extraordinary thing about this election is in the numbers. At this moment Americans are more excited and involved than they ever have been. We must maintain that momentum. If you have been volunteering (or now wish you had been) for the campaign, keep it up (or start). Find a cause that needs your time and energy and give it. There are dogs at shelters that would love a walk, older folks in homes who could do with a visit, DC school kids who need help with their math homework. You don't have to resort to grand gestures, just take a walk and pickup the trash that lame-o litterbugs have scattered around your streets, plug someone's parking meter when it only has a minute or two left, talk to strangers, SMILE, get off your ass and offer someone a seat. Our country is only as good as each one of us. If we decided to go from door knockers, phone bankers and voters to a bunch of lazy self-centered apathetic couch potatoes we will get what we deserve.

Today we have the rebuttal for all those BS "how much of a difference can i make?" cop outs. So look around you, see the problem and fix it. Let's work to earn our best hopes for ... and man, this is so sweet to say ... PRESIDENT-ELECT BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA.

yes.
we.
can.

.... and frog

Happy Halloween, people, give the childrens what they want, NO RAISINS!!!
thanks for the link, dunk!

Nums!

(Ectoplasmosis)

LoooooooooooSER

Snatching Defeat From the Jaws of Victory

Likes they says, let's do what we can over the next 6 days to make this happen, homies. (Wonkette)

More Responsible Parenting

Prop 8 is a CA ballot initiative to prohibit gay marriage. It is unbelievably gross to involve your kid in your hatemongering. However, dressing her in a pink Shepard Fairey knockoff shirt while she does it: priceless.
(Daily Dish)

hilarious

thanks, dunk!

8 year olds dangerous to self/others with uzi

Oh, geebus, why oh why would you let your kid handle an Uzi? Oh, yeah, because you are a f*cking idiot.

RNC Spends 150k to Clothe/Style Real America

Look, Sarah Palin is just like the rest of us regular joe six-pack hockey moms. She's from "real America" she's bringing us truth from "Wasilla Main Street" she appears to be the recipient of $4,000 worth of hair and makeup. Wait, what? Um, yeah, uh, turns out that the "middle-class" Gov of Alaska has spent over $125k on clothing at those well known discount shops Sacks 5th Ave and Neiman Marcus. That's even rich if your definition of middle-class consists of folks making over $250k. (Politico)

I love Blingee

blingee!


cheer up, Bob!!

blingee!

Are You F*cking Kidding Me?

Happy 3rd and Final Debate!!!

Late 19th c. Japanese Tabloids Expose Demons, Ghosts and Shapeshifters

Pink Tentacle has a great post here featuring images and the accompanying stories from 1870s Japanese news sheets.

The Universal Declaration of Human Rights in Animation

more information here.

1/2 the Country thinks Palin is Running for President

according to a CNN poll 47% of the respondents believe McCain won't make it through his first term.

the candidates as trains

Thank you, Sabrina, you are the smartest prettiest girl in the whole world via Pharyngula.

Oooooohhhhh SNAP!

Kitty is Healing.

People actually slow down to gawk at us during walks.

Palin Debate Comedy Wrap-up

from Letterman, who is totes carrying a grudge:

and SNL, of course, of course:

Ralph Stanley Rocks.

Please, for the love of Mike, listen to this excellent ass ad staring claw hammer hero, Ralph Stanley. To be honest with you, I have always been a little annoyed that Ralph charges for autographs, but he has completely redeemed himself with this.

TPM

Teenagers are Awful

but, this is still ridiculous. and sad. I guess if you are willing to give your kid away its better for everyone that you do just that, because you are probably not the world's best parent but, geebus its an terrible thing to do.

Of course, in typical NYTimes style the whole surrendering the teen thing is chalked up to the fact its so expensive to get help, but let's be honest- a large part of this is due to the fact that a lot of people who have kids don't actually like kids. Not that its easy to like kids as teenagers, hey, I HATE teenagers, but that's why I don't have kids...

Certain signs of the Apocalypse

Homes are selling for pennies on the ... oh, wait, um, yea, just pennies.
Cow costumed lunatics are chasing children and peeing on porches.
There is MORE of that awful Palin/Couric sit down yet to air.

You Do NOT Futz With Dave

So John McCain skipped out on Letterman yesterday ostensibly to fly to DC Superman-style in order to fix our broken monies. Too bad McCain is a BIG LIAR!!! He was actually down the hall putting on make up with Katie Couric.

Oh Snap.

Wonks

she no talk good.

I have largely abstained from Palin bashing because I think its largely counter productive, but I could not, for the life of me, resist posting this car wreck of an interview:

Local TV Spots on WAMU

the best Kojo Nnamdi show EVER today, esp for those of you out of town who long for a sweet sweet taste of local DC adverts. Kojo had Matthew Lesko (of question mark fame) and the dude who owns Eastern Motors on and they just nerded out on local ads including the classic Jhoon Rhee spot. I have posted a bunch of my favorites below. You can listen to the show here.

holy smokes, this ad is amazing.

Oh Dear, The Pillhead is at it Again.

So, John McCain is running some Spanish language ads in western states that are all "Barry totes made the immigration reform fail last year" so Obama is running some ads that are like "Um, not really, but I'll tell you what- the GOP does not love immigrants, for example Rush Limbaugh has said some awful shit about Mexicans." And then Rush is all

"Obama is a disgrace - he wants the public to think he is Mr. Nice Guy while his thugs are in Alaska looking for dirt on Palin and he runs race-baiting ads and lies about what he has done and what McCain has done."

Politico

Poster Spotted in Metro Bus Reads:

(Beside a photo of a VERY cute little girl cuddling a teddy bear)

"Andrea has the brain of a five-year-old trapped in a ten-year-old's body"

Let it out, Andrea. That just isn't nice.

Um, wow.

mccain 1-year ago

being a mayor/governor doesn't give you any foreign policy experience . . . even if you're close to russia!??

. . . you know it's bad if karl rove is "speaking out!"

more about Sarah "Huntress" Palin

Freaking Out is For Losers

I refuse to freak out about this election for the following reasons:

1. The swing in the polls over the past week is among a very soft group of voters that will no doubt shift at least one, two or even three more times before 11/4. Right now, Palin is a novelty, and I think we all have to admit, a pretty fascinating persona. People are definitely drawn to the novelty, but as we close in on election day I do believe people will focus on issues, and that's where she is a mess. The Gibson interview shows she is not great in one on ones http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDdPnKjFhpA (if you are short on time go to 2:15). This stuff will matter more as we close in on November.

2. debates, debates, debates, debates. If barack is down a chunk after the debates I will commence weeping, moaning, and nashing of teeth. Look, at this point mccain is playing on the obama field of "change" but he consistently agrees with Bush's approaches on the things that matter (economics, forign policy, evironment). I think the debates will make the contrast between actual change and just repeating the word change over and over again clear and evident. If mccain gets a little flustered and snippy, good. If he has a couple of senior moments, even better. I do feel like seeing these guys side by side, as well as watching biden look like a guy who knows his shit next to miss wasilla will be a moment of truth for people.

3. Being a bit down or tied in the polls only helps get out the "eh, i'm just one person" vote. The less certain victory is for obama the more motivated a certain group will be to actually get out to the polls. These are the voters that should obama being significantly up or down in the polls will see the election as predetermined and not bother to show up.

4. Grassroots. For the first time in my memory, this democratic campaign has an incredibly broad base of volunteers. I know I'm taking election day off to work on Obama turnout efforts, as well as spending every weekend after my LSAT out in VA canvassing- I think these efforts will make significant headway.

In short, I refuse to freak out. Yeah, maybe I am totally bonkers and the GOP has this thing wrapped up and the daily show will just get even more hillarious and sad as America continues its long slide into absurd religo-fascism but for now I refuse to yield ground to panic.

Whatcha Doin, Fool?

Welcome to the first of a recurring series tracking the career moves of my favorite star of screen and smaller screen Laurence Tureaud, known to the masses as Mr. T.

"If you're like me, you love great tasting food."
Yes, T, I am like you. Perhaps we are more alike than either of us will ever know.
(sigh)

what's wrong with going back to typewriters?

. . . Tom Friedman on "drill, baby, drill."

the RNC in 25 seconds or less

a confession

I am in love and obsessed with this website:

this one. here.

cannot. stop. watching. pizza. kitty. fly.

what are YOU having?

mmmmmmmm ....

tip o' the keyboard to superdunk.

she is like that little superman baby

Thank you, Ben, Thank you.

Dad, PLEASE watch this.

THIS is the vid caddy should have posted

Much shorter and less boring like.

drill, baby, drill!??

michael steele almost made me ashamed to be from maryland! drill baby drill? that's just creepy . . .



. . . mitt romney was worse, though. ick! this convention is very difficult to watch.

wait, um, what?!?!

So as of Monday, Sioux City becomes a real city.

holy shit, Olive Garden is a huge deal in Iowa. To wit, check out this waste of otherwise perfectly good words:

The new restaurant, built in the company's Tuscan-farmhouse design, is the second in the state, with a rustic stone exterior typical of the buildings in the Italian countryside, and an interior accented by Italian imports designed to make the Sioux City dining experience a tribute to the restaurant's Italian inspiration, Hagarty said.

fuck yeah!

Subversive Cross Stitch offers this excellent kit here. Great gift to hand stitch and give to someone you love who is fighting awful, no good, very bad cancer ... I wish this was around when mom was sick-

I could post about Sarah Palin

but this is much more fun ...

ethel!??

yes. lillian is napping and after the hope on a rope i kind of got hooked . . .

or this one?

hope on a rope

it's purple to symbolize the fact that we aren't red or blue, but both!

i think it'd be a good gift for dad, a purple, vegan, obama soap on a rope!

OMG happy birthday, bob!

bob. i am the worst sister, ever. today started out auspiciously vis a vis (sp!?? i am not french inclined) your birthday wishes. somehow i even managed to facebook happy birthday you before stella reminded me to call you (the first time--taking into account the time change this is impressive!). then it all went to hell. i intended to call, i really did. i was going to phone you at approximately 5pm my time in order to call you sufficiently after work and dinner yet before bedtime to be able to tell you in person.

in fact, i actually spoke to stella about my brilliant plan only 45 minutes from its intended execution.

then 5 came and went and so did 6 and 7 and now it's ruined!

i am very sorry.

and your post is funny. cyber fans can't shout, silly!

BOB RATED: BEST GERMAN POSTING ETHIC by blog readership

Yes,

With his third-person posts Bob has, (on his birthday we might add) become the most favored blogger by readers of this blog. One reader commented "i really don't care for premature dolls or baby monkeys, that isn't relevent to ME. I feel like bobs posts display an uncanny insight into the human condition" Another reader shouted in passing "Bob rocks!!!!"

OMG We're Blogging! Wants to wish our favorite member Bob a very happy Birthday!!! We love you BOB!!

PS. YOUR THE BEST!!!!

a post: where monkey cuddles leads to a dark, dark place

ok, so i went to price check monkey cuddles, my new obsession and the name of my next band. I found it retailing for $35 at irresistables.com, a website with all kinds of wackadoodle tacky crap for sale. Navigating around I stumbled upon this possibly the most disturbing line of "dolls" ever.

Look! Fresh from the uterus I offer you Reborn Doll Kits, Inc.
Wow! how, um, slightly unformed! but, these are a little too "done" for my taste do you have something in the way of a disturbingly premature newborn infant doll?
That's more like it. Now if I could just get a hold of those disembodied creepy claw like hands ...but, perhaps new born human children bore you to tears! Thank goodness Reborn Doll Kits, Inc. has taken consumers like you into consideration!!

ag fair

i'd just like to say that your ag fair stinks. those water bumper cars look SOOOO boring and i think winning a goldfish is abusive to animals. how can you "win" a living creature? why don't we just go back to slavery, MoCountians!?? why don't you throw a ring around a coke bottle to see if you can win ME? win me into a lifetime of bondage, why don't you!?

rabbits are boring, too.

it all stinks and i don't miss it a bit.

a tiny "baby" who will win your heart!

. . . am i the only one who finds these "cute" figurines in the coupon section frightening? i had to scan this in!

cad, is THIS the movie you're talking about?

Thank geebus for youtube.

if randomness is the theme, i'm in!

ok, so i'm shamelessly directing everyone to my blog to watch "am i normal?" which i think is extremely important for everyone to watch because it's the best movie ever. joe-- if you're out there, did you have to watch this in mrs. stembel's class, too? i think it might even have been on a film reel rather than a VHS. dunno if they'd already retired the reels by the time you came along.

anyway, i think it's a great conversation point/ hilarious diversion and it forms a part of what's going on in my world.

amen to the request for joe's apartment pix. i've been dying to see what it looks like! can we take stalker-ish cell phone photos of strange and funny things we encounter in the world? that would be fun . . . i think i'll start doing it . . .

omg. denver protesters HATE freedom!

The Denver protesters, former AP art students who have taken it upon themselves to spend the week a)not showering and b)recreating the chicago convention riots of 1968 which eventually got nixon elected and we all know how well that went, refuse to talk to Fox News! They are also wearing "masks" so this might get a little out of control.

your parents sooooo pissed right now.

The Whole Point is No Point

Ok, first and foremost, all new kitty pics (and other sundry kestell photos) can be found on my flickr stream here.

As to theme, there is no theme, that's the point. This is supposed to be a place for binge drinking posts, political posts, random "c'mon let's post" posts, everything pretty much. The idea is that we share our interests, curiosities, dalliances and whims with each other someplace that we can point anyone who may be interested. i.e. "you haven't heard of cardi-oke?!?! I posted it on the blog- check it out!" I guess the entire purpose of inviting you guys to pitch in was that I have the best conversations with my siblings and I am trying to create a space where we can continue that convo even when we're spread out all over the country. For example, I have NO idea what is cracking Joe up right now, what his apartment looks like, what the weirdest/coolest/smelliest person on the subway this morning looked/smelled like and i WANT to know those things. Its way easier to miss a person not knowing those things. So use this as your random space to share the random stuff you want us all to see/hear/respond to. Meanwhile, I'll keep up the political chatter illustrated with LOL cats.

tew few posts!

we have all been slackers, lately!

i'll bear the bulk of the burden for the lack of posts up here, lately, as this constitutes my first, EVER, but this is simply unacceptible. C'mon Kestells! Where has that German work ethic gone?

I think it would help if we were to come up with some sort of a theme for the blog. Bob likes to write about binge drinking, Stel about politics, and me about whatever it is this post is about.

if we come up with some sort of a theme i think it would be good. or a purpose? is the purpose of this to keep in touch and share goofy stuff? i'm just lost and i want to write on here but i don't know what to write about and don't want my writing to be odd and out of place (as this likely is;). anyway, come on guys, lets have a posting brawl and duke it out as to the validity of this post, if for no other reason.

that at least will get stuff going?

stel, where are the new baby pix!?

Ernest Borgnine Rocks Your World

thanks, dunk!

How To Buy A New Car

BoingBoing clip from Ignite Seattle offers muy valuable advice. enjoy.

Desired: R2D2 Projection Alarm Clock

Sometimes I thank god that I am a woman, simply because its not nearly as creepy to be a single girl with a Star Wars fetish. Nothing about my life currently screams 'I live in my mom's basement' but that will be corrected as soon as these lil' beauties come stateside. It tells time by either projecting red digits on your the wall of your lonely, empty studio apartment, or through the digital readout on his cute belly. IwantitIwantitIwantitIwantit, pleeeeeeeeeeease. Wesco is releasing them in Britan in October, they will retail at about $35, that's like 18 pounds for the anglophiles amongst us. link

oh Canada!

Jon Lajoie is a funny man filled with hilarity. NSFW w/ out headphones.

War on Richard Cohen Continues

at Wonkette
This is beginning to look like a wonks mirror site, but hey- when it they're right, they're right, people.

um, uh, uh, um ... elderly.

via wonks

ATTENTION KESTELL MEN!!

Information you NEED TO KNOW!

here

You are welcome, Adrian.

Richard Cohen is a Tool II

More Proof

gracias, wonks

wha? you don't accept THIS?

via superdunk

New Address! New, yet similar, intent!

In celebration of our multiple blogger format we have changed the address to omgWEREblogging.blogspot.com. why?

1. because its not just I anymore
2. because there was little to no "live" going on in the blogging


anyways, many welcomes to the new bloggers, it is caddy's contention that this is a good way to keep up with one another, if she loves it so much maybe she'll blog about it.

Bob removes binge drinking post

Finding it impossible to improve on his useless observation about the ridiculously low standard for binge drinking in the US (4-5 drinks in a row) , critically acclaimed blogger, bob, removed his post at 11:58 am. Sources close to the omgwereblogging readership say all are eagerly awaiting his next installment.

brilliant

.

Dear McSame,

Your staff sucks.

Sincerely,

Your Volunteers (Wonks)

Richard Cohen is a Tool

Proof.

Bob can blog too!

Wow!!! look at me blog. Been getting alot of S from my sister for not contributing my share to this blog thing so I thought I would take a few moments of my day to fill some space here.... Got back from the west coast a couple of weeks ago.
First of all, the west coast seems way better than the east. I wish I had moved there before I was upside-down on two mortgages (sigh)... connected with my long-lost extended family on my moms side, met my cousin Jen and cousin-in-law Erick who are really cool. Saw my grandparents, who i haden't seen in 20 years. They are 95 and 98 and 100% there. Im really good at maintaining ties with people who live in my same town, not so good at doing-so with people who are living in different time-zones; going to have to work on that. I hope to be going back soon...so thats it for my half-assed contribution for today.

not doing much of anything: movie reviews

k, so i spent the weekend in a stupor, discovered about 10 new comfortable ways to lay around the living room, rocked a couple more levels on assassin's creed and watched a bunch of movies, which I am taking the time to just for you.

Talk to Me **1/2 (out of 5)
If you know me, you know that I love dc and therefor I love ralph waldo "petey" greene. The foul mouthed conciensce of dc from the early 60s until his death in '84 and the host of the miracle that was 'petey greene's washington' on wdca channel 20. I got to know petey through his tv show and being a little white kid from upper NW I had a thing or two to learn about the real district and petey had a thing or two to teach. Needless to say, I was ecstatic when I heard that a petey bio-pic was in the offing. Unfortunately, the flick doesn't do petey justice. Don Cheadle does a remarkable job of getting the dc cadence down, and pretty much nails petey's staccato, but Chiwetel Ejiofor sounds like he is from Queens by way of Eton. Meanwhile, the real DC could have been a worthy costar, but instead we get shots of the capital, washington monument and (yawn) ben's. The story arc is also SUPER predictable mostly because the silly biopic arc of rise-triumph-failure-rebirth is adhered to religiously. The clip below says far more about Petey than the nearly 2 hour film, so enjoy this stand in:

Juno *** (out of 5)
I am not sold on this lil' charmer, because it is all so, well, charming. It tries a bit too hard to sell us on its cuteness, and while it is a fun watch I wasn't buying. It may be suffering from my dislike of Knocked Up- both movies seem to a bit pleased with their post-feminist 'an unplanned pregnancy is the road to happiness' message. While I have nothing against the choices women make with their bodies it all seems a little trite, like the serious emotional consequences are not accounted for.

The Grand **** (out of 5)
Cheryl Hines, David Cross, Woddy Harrilson, Hank Azaria, Chris Parnell, WERNER HERZOG, dennis farina, etc etc all in an improvisational comedy about poker- please tell me you think this could go wrong. The throw away moments are the best, and for me, parnell hits it out of the park with his semi autistic poker genius. Not great cinema, but a genuinely great time, a quick, fun, easy watch. Here is the trailer for info's sake:

Harry Potter and The Order of the Pheonix **** (out of 5)
Because I am in love with Gary Oldman as Sirius Black (dork alert!!!) and even though I don't care about the books I am love with these films. They are totally transporting and scary and funny and fun and beautiful. and I am in love with Gary Oldman as Sirius Black, did I mention that?

Ahhh ... Gary Oldman.

we is back. dis time wit family.

I know its hard to tell, but there are actually (supposed to be) 3 bloggers at work on the magnificence that is OMGILB, we are siblings and just spent 5 days together trapped within various confined spaces. Thankfully, a SO and child were along for the tour of the pacific northwest so we didn't drive each other completely insane. We had 1 major blowout in a DQ parking lot and it wasn't even that bad. We survived child vomit (papi, i nono why my belly dodat) western wear shopping, copious quantities of both booze and greasy yummies and at the end of whole thing we would do it again; not too bad, right?

What brought us to the left coast? Our cousin Liz (one of the rolicking Rohlichs) was getting hitched (finally) to Sascha, possibly the nicest and most genuine person we have ever met. Liz and Sascha are so impossibly cute and nice that they turn our stomachs, in a good, jealous way. So, up in Seattle we witnessed the coming together of our obnoxious brood and the very very nice Alaskans that make up Sacha's family. There was eating (salmon! fried chicken!) Unless, of course, your cousin stole your portion (eh hem). There was drinking. To the extent that some of us may not remember the entire night (steve) and others of us made the judicious decision to stop flirting and get to bed (yours truly). There was dancing. Some of which was phenomenal (jim) some of which was tipsy and in a circle(the rest of us). There was cigar smoking (TY gerry!) There was a lot of hysterical laughter and, as cheesy as it sounds, a lot of love. We adore the big extended family we have reclaimed from the wreckage of our own smaller one, and I think all three of us are super thankful and honored to be a part of its noisy, forceful love.

After Seattle, we headed down to Portland to check in with our late Mom's parents. At 95 & 97 and are more aware than the 3 of us collectively. They read actively, keep up with politics, and their clean living (no smokie treats and lots of hiking) has given them the advantage of reaping the rewards of making it so far. They are a quieter than our dad's side but we know they love us, and boy, do we ever love them back. After that it was on to meet a cousin we had rarely (if ever) met. She, her husband and their impossibly adorable 7 month old son took time out on super short notice to have a bev and bite and catch up on introductions and reintroductions that were much too late in coming. Whether they like it or not there little band is now part of the big amorphous blob that is our greater family and they will be invited to all kinds of crap.

we have our family back: na na nanana na na.

god bless.

just in time for the 4th, only in america:

GW's Speach Impediment a Hoax?

(Warning: beware of porn music featured in this clip)

Having observed "Forest Gump" take the nation by storm in the mid-ninties it appears that our president took note: pre-senile dementia you say? Pre-senile dementia like a fox!

UPDATE: charlie crist, not so much.

k, so evidently charlie crist is gaygaygay.

so I take it all back.

Charlie Crist WILL be John McCain's VP

Why? You ask.

Good thing I am here to walk you through it, dopey.

Exhibit A:
See, John McCain is deeply unpopular in Florida b/c he hates nature, unless its power can be harnessed to fuel cars or kill terrorists. McCain discovered just how unpopular his nature hatred is in the swing state of FL earlier this month.
So, he will need a Florida, a Florida governed by the very popular Charlie Crist, who loves the everglades so much that he announced yesterday he wants to buy it from US Sugar, a very evil sounding company.

Exhibit B:
You know how John McCain was all "drilling for oil offshore is a really terrible pollutey idea" and now he's all "I'm crazy as a shit house rat for Texas Tea!!! Drill the ocean, YEEE-HAW!?!?!"

Well, guess who also had a change of heart AT THE SAME TIME FOR THE SAME REASONS?!?!?

I'm just sayin'

Yes, Virginia, Politicians are Hypocrites and Liars

-First up, a charming Oregon GOP candidate Mike Erickson may have paid for his ex-girlfriend's abortion ten years ago. Too bad Erickson positions himself as a virulent abortion foe.

I have to say that I am pretty happy that this is an repub abortion hypocrite story as opposed to the old standby the repub gay as a daisy hypocrite story, because I am certain that there is many a politician that has availed him/herself of the convenience of safe & legal termination and scandal-wise this demographic remains sorely under represented.

-Obama's decision to forgo public funding has generated lots of ink and hand wringing, because he did, like, promise over and over again to do the opposite. As much as I think it would have been a total utter mistake for him for to limit himself to the $85 million public financing cap, I do think he has done himself a disservice by not being straight with us as to why.

I think this points to just how conservatively Obama and his advisors feel they have to play this going in to November. After all, too much candor of the 'first time as an adult i am truly proud of my country' variety can only get you in trouble when your under the absurd spastic 24-hour news cycle general election microscope. At the end of the day this will all blow over long before November and I am reasonably certain that its enough of an inside the beltway issue that Joe Sixpack doesn't give a rat's ass anyway.

happy happy no.

adios, la pequena hillary.

via con dios.

In Defense

So, Scott Mcelellan has gotten a pretty major bum rap over the past ten days for writing a memoir that, in places, directly contradicts the statements he made as press secretary. On the right the criticism has been that he is a transformed man, and that greed has driven him to write scurrilous things that he does not truly believe. On the left he is battered around for 'too little too late' why didn't he resign, or at least say something at the time? Couldn't it have made a significant impact, even changed the course of conduct he objected to?

I can't jump on either train entirely, because I believe that the process that brought him to write the book he did had to be painful. His is not a position I am unfamiliar with, I have genuinely admired someone, even had faith in them, only to be disappointed with decisions they made. The faith we have in the people closest to us means that we give them a buy on behavior that strangers would not tolerate. When you admire a person to the degree that Mcelellan admired Bush at one time, they get more than a buy, the get an actual pass. It is only later, on reflection that we realize what we tolerated, and for how long. We've all had a boyfriend or girlfriend, a mentor, a teacher, a boss who has let us down, not been everything we thought they were. It takes time to register that disappointment, time to realize that we gave them a buy or a pass that they didn't deserve. We then feel used or taken advantage of, it takes some time to do what Mcelellan has actually done in this book, and own it.

Everyone is an ethicist when it comes to politics, and because what goes on in the White House does affect so many lives, we all have a right to take Mcelellan's oversight and inaction personally. It is also important to remember that Mcelellan was doing his job, working for someone he believed in and admired, and he has more courage than the current and ex administration members that have continued to say and do nothing. Mcelellan has lost a lot of old friends by making this public assessment of his past, and he has not gained a lot of new ones in exchange. This isn't a huge cash book deal, he is actually doing the one thing that both sides beat him around for not doing earlier; he is being honest. It is time, now that the week + of sturm and drom has blown past, to realize his behavior is not an abomination, it is ours, it is human. To deny that would make us the real liars.

young hillary

fair AND balanced

you know what I really love about this?
that the whole 'so much makeup you look like one of ted bundy's gussied-up corpses' look is not dead.
that, and the assassination humor.

brilliant

I have such a comic crush on chris ware, its embaressing.

(sigh)

They Promise, And They Didn't Deliver

Bill Clinton is a very angry guy right now, because Hillz is losing and it kinda might sorta be partially his fault. Its all so sad at this point, I mean, do you really need to personally debate each and every heckler? Really? You are just encouraging it, Bubba.

3 words for the Clintons:

Let. It. Go.

Dear WV, KY and OR

happiness.

I love that this is on cnn.com

Let's Just Say, It Hasn't Been the Best Month

So, somewhere around the 4th the wheels fell off for me. The incredible slog which was the lead up to what was, all along, a no-win for Barack in PA just broke me, I just wasn't feeling the magic. Though you wouldn't know from reading earlier postings here, I actually used to admire, if not like, the clintons. Watching them over the past few months perform, just like the crazy right wing nut jobs would have predicted, was painful. It also seems much ado about nothing. I mean from Jeremiah Wright to Bosnia-Gate, it is all the sizzle and none of the steak (as hillz would say at a campaign stop in TX). Hopefully, last week's debate was the zenith of this kind of nothingness in the campaign, but I am fairly confident that we are in for more.

It is exhausting.

Simultaneous with the PA onslaught I watched my beloved Washington Capitals seize the Southeast Division Title and enter the Stanley Cup Playoffs for the first time in five years. This was a team remade in October with elevation of minor league coach Bruce Boudreau from Hershey Bears (aw) to the Caps' bench. Boudreau remade the team. The Caps became younger, more active team, skating harder and seeming for the first time to deserve their star, Alex Ovechkin. They entered the playoffs as the face of the new, young, family friendly hockey that the NHL's rule changes had hoped to spawn. Facing the Philadelphia Flyers in the first round the Caps encountered another brand of hockey altogether. The Flyers play a super physical, almost brutal, form of ice hockey, their much older and more experienced squad were relentless in seeking and creating opportunity, not always playing fairly. While the Caps ignited excitement and hope on the part of their newly energized fans, the Flyers fans wore hunter orange t-shits emblazoned 'VENGEANCE NOW!'

Yes, if the Caps' late season surge resembled the sudden flourish in interest and intensity of the Obama campaign, the Flyers were the hard charging, experienced and established Clintonites. The Caps won the first game with a kind of youthful exuberance, best represented by the ecstatic image of Ovechkin jumping up and pressing himself against the thin glass that separated him from the pulsating crowd. The Flyers beat the Caps back in the next 3 games, forcing the Caps to hit back, to play a little rougher, until they hit their stride in games 5 and 6, forcing a must win face-off in game 7. Even in favored territory, on home ice at the Verizon Center, the Caps weren't completely in control of the game and, when the Flyers tied it up after a questionable 2nd goal, a certain dread crept in. Going to sudden death overtime felt awful. Losing at about 7 minutes in was even worse.

At the end of game 7 there was a palpable feeling of 'no way' it just didn't seem possible. How could the nasty, brutal Flyers beat our sweet Caps? It was like 2000 and 2004 and the OH/TX primaries all in one. That feeling that 'yup. those guys, the ones who play like complete assholes win again.'

Oh, did I mention this all happened this Tuesday? The day Obama lost PA by 9% and everyone started talking about Hillary's mo?

because it worked so well the first time.

wednesday morning round-ups

k, so this explains all the horrible non-options. wow.
who has the least interesting political mind at work today?
Wonkette's new feature promises to unlock the mysterious inside workings of the Obama cult.
HILLarious

dude. seriously.

the clintons have problems telling the truth.

Netflix Site Interruption Is Robbing The World of My 'Crazy Love' Review

The site has been down all day, so I can't give 'crazy love' the 4 stars it so richly deserves.

thank god for the blog, people.

I might vote for hillary ...

la pequena hillary, that is!

happy easter weekend, peeps!

i (heart) college ball

so, unless you are a) lame b)super lame you know that today is that very very special day... the first Thursday of the NCAA Men's Tourney. Xavier is leading Georgia (finally) so I am in a good enough mood to offer a link round-up of the best college ball stuff on the net.

CBS actually has its streaming video act together this year, the service and their site is definitive.

If you need a taste of haterade, Slate has a round up of the most hate-able teams, this list, IMHO, could start and end with the blech-y blu devils.

Speaking of the whiny Dukies, haven't played a tourney game and they're already crying foul, poor, poor thing.

Dick Vitale loved Juan Dixon, and therefore I love Dick Vitale.

OMG, I picked UNC to take it too!!!! We're, like, made for each other.

and, finally, shame on you if you don't routinely bow before the gift that is Michael Wilbon's Post column.

OMG, the NY sex scandals will NOT STOP

So, now the new, blind gov is now out as a cheater, and its like the madness will never end. This is, of course, great for news media outlets everywhere who would otherwise have to cover boring old Iraq or the fact that US taxpayers are bailing out Wall Street's 5th largest investment bank. I mean, snoozeville, so keep up the screwing around, pols!

trashy america

and

very pale racist ladies attack a news reporter:

(snif)

sick AGAIN, despite the flu shot. so, forgive the absence of posts in the meantime, b/c I feel like death warmed over.

for real, though?

et tu, geraldine?

more wire! young prop joe

This is the most brilliant of several prequels that HBO put out for the last season, NOT A SPOILER:

That sentimental motherfucker just cost us money.

so, The Wire is over, well, its good to know that the spirit of prop Joe and Omar will live on in Slim Charles and Michael, respectively. This end seemed to bring us back to the beginning, letting us know that the story we watched over the previous 65+ hours was simply a glimpse of this ever churning cycle. We watched Carcetti become Royce and Dukie become Bubbles. For the cops and dealers, whose connection seemed irrevocable, we see the wire that bound them snipped. Those most entranced by the connections, McNulty and Lester, over play their hand and are forced to walk away from the street, like Bunny Colvin before them. Also like Bunny, McNulty chooses to "rescue" one of its victims, returning his abductee to Baltimore. Escape from the streets of West Baltimore is more difficult for those born and raised there, we recognize the draw of its brutality in Marlo's last scene, where he appears almost aroused by the violence and his own fearlessness in engaging it.

The Wire was as much about the things that tie us together as those that pull us apart. Its focus last season on the lives of young men was a study in how a close group of friends can be pulled apart by circumstance. We are reminded of this motif when Dukie returns to school to beg off Pryzbylski and when Michael refuses to remember their better days. Similarly, the parallels between McNulty and Kima in Season 3 are turned on their head, as both try to rejoin their families, they lose each other. In many ways McNulty sacrificed his cop family for a real one, just as Chris said farewell to his kids in order to maintain his loyalty to his street family. The same forces that draw you to one group pull you away from another.

I was tempted, as the credits rolled on Sunday night, to start again from episode 1, and I might, I almost want to see the whole arc knowing the end this time. A television show thats worth rewatching the 3rd time, certainly deserves to be mourned.

note to world/self

what is it with women buying unbelievably useless crap? I know dudes buy a lot of garbage too, but really.
*please excuse any misspelling and/or other egregious errors, sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry*

there's a plant

Named 'english baby tears' and then there's just 'baby tears' which to choose? Oh, shit, i just spotted 'chinese baby tears' it was sitting next to 'chocolate soldier.'.

This place is awesome.
*please excuse any misspelling and/or other egregious errors, sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry*

Live Blogging the Phili Flower Show

So here i am, the committed non-gardener (its another one of those things, like speaking spanish, that everyone else in my family seems to do and enjoy) at the largest exhibition of flowers, plants, and gardening stuff. My childhood bff and her family are showing her mom's gorgeous ikebana pottery so i was tempted up by her and her folk's presence- we'll see how i survive amongst booths of sachets, suncatchers and, yes, an Irishman in a bucket (in his defense, he's shilling for boots.

So, i will try to resist shoe shopping and cracking up at overheard gems like 'ireland: its where all the best people EVER were from' while proudly bearing my obama pin (april 22nd, baby.)

Wish me luck.

Oh, and i forgot my camera, unfort, so lets just imagine for now. K?

rules need not apply

So, the show rolls on to Wyoming, Mississippi, North Carolina, and eventually our neighbors to the north, PA. The Clinton camp has been all over the place on which states "matter" for example, Michigan, where Barack wasn't even on the ballot, *counts* as does Florida, where noone but Hill showed up to campaign. However, caucus states like Iowa, Idaho, Kansas, etc. well, they don't, or rather shouldn't, count because they are innately unfair. to working people. who the Clintons can totally relate to. This turnabout should not surprise anyone though, I mean this is the team that prattles on about 'bush tactics' and the 'rove playbook' but then pulls a page directly from it with that awful red phone ad. Not to mention talking out of both sides of her mouth on Obama, I mean is he a suitable running mate? Or a total neophyte unsuited for office? Or a part of the vast right wing conspiracy?

And, of course, they continue to refuse to release their tax returns, her White House records, and the well known hostility towards the press corps. Look, there are reasons people don't like the Clintons, lots of them, and many very similar to reasons people don't like Bush/Cheney. Obama won't and shouldn't take the gloves off with her, but the surrogates should keep pounding away because the idea that a hillary presidency would substantially different than W's is the biggest fairy tale of this campaign.

Late Morning Lynx!

-Charlotte Allen, author of the 'ladies like cute boys and aren't very bright' outlook piece referred to earlier conducted an online chat to discuss her piece.
Conclusion: she is both a lady and not very bright, thereby PROVING HER ORIGINAL HYPOTHESIS. so there.
-no, I don't believe Marie Jon looks like that, I am thinking she just scanned in one of those picture frame fill in sheets.
-and, OMG, there was this massacre that you've never heard of but hillary is VERY VERY concerned about when seeking votes in areas with large polish populations. she IS experienced.
-finally, DC area Obamaniacs read up! What we need to know before we head to PA.

more comfort: 1977 eurovision style

the banjo, the backup singers, say it with me now: "i. am. in. heaven."

this will make you feel better

the pet of the future!!!

you are welcome.

um ... yes we can

so, we didn't shut it down last night. I am at peace with that. I am even ok that OH came out so wrong. why? well, partly because I spent 2 weekends trudging around columbus, and don't feel like I could have done much more. but, mostly because we are still ahead in the delegate count, and I believe that lead will expand w/ victories in WY and M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I shortly. Now, don't get me wrong, PA will be a fight, but I have already recruited my 4 year old niece and she is kind of a super powerful secret weapon.

as to yesterday's results, I think a few factors came into play:
1) the fear factor in full effect i.e. the 3am phone ad had its desired result. I mean, who wants a muslim terrorist that wears funny clothes answering the phone at that hour?
2) some morons believed that this thing was tied up. I think there were a fair number of people who figgered that barack didn't need their vote yesterday, whereas hillary supporters knew they had to get their asses out to the polls.
3) this NAFTA canadian story. this was clearly a rare f@ckup on the part of the Obama campaign- people need to be fired and we need to move on.
4) the new media scrutiny/hillary sympathy, I am hoping this is just a phase b/c voting for a candidate you feel sorry for is pathetic.

so, we roll on, and as bummed as I was last night I know that this thing can and will be shut down sooner or later. let's just roll up our sleeves and get out there, and if you hate the results get off your ass and do something about it.

primary/caucus results unclear, i am riding home in Krazy Kab

So, we have no idea how the OH and TX polls will shake out but i DO know that the lady I'm sharing this cab w/ is unafraid of speaking her mind. To date she has accused the THANK GOD HE'S MUCH FASTER driver of breaking 2 laws (talking on a cell phone w/out benefit of handset & making a left on red). She went pretty 'lady-crazy' on him, with the whole shrieky voice, wenchy manner that befits women of a certain level of frustration and age. Me, well, there is hope that i will get home before 3 am (never would happen w/superslow earlier cabbie) so, i am fi-ine. I guess i have the rather unsafe idea that riding in a cab is a fun/dangerous adventure. To me the fare is totally worth it for the thrills. It IS rainy and probably not the best idea to make hail marys on red, so I have to give her props for being right.



No further screeching at this point, but I am holding out hope that she will be enraged about the fare (hope hope).



Oh wait, no drama on that.



Shit.

I am in the world's slowest cab

This guy is stopping behind everyone taking a left, i may never get to capital hill at this rate! Please please drive faster!!!!! Aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrggggghhhhhh!!!!!
Slooooooooowwwwwwwww!!!!
Why are we driving through chinatown!!!!!!!!

As you can tell, i am feeling a little agro about the whole thing.

will not vote with my vagina

So, between Tina Fey's endorsement (let's call it what it was) on Feb 23rd and Post's above the fold story today and the Outlook features on Sunday I feel compelled to announce the following fairly obvious fact to the world.

this one goes out to aggrieved feminists everywhere:

The real world version of gender equality will mean that a female candidate will be judged as a candidate and not as a female. Many, maybe even most, of the women who support Barack Obama are advocating for the candidate they have judged the best qualified and inspiring. The flip side of hillary's 'experience' is that we know her well, and we are able to judge her, not simply as a woman, but as a person, and a politician. No, we're not mindless flush-faced groupies, or anti-feminists, or elitists, we are women with our own minds qualified and able to determine who to vote for.

k?tx.